Sunday, July 10, 2005

A Tragedy of the Commons

Today, I went to visit Ms. O's blog and found nobody there. It's weird, how 'people' on the net just kind of disappear. It's not like a favorite shop that you fnd under new ownership, more like that favorite shop ceased to exist, and the neighboring buildings kind of took up the space as if it had never been there.

I came across her Blogger dashboard and found her auto-obituary:

Why did I delete my blog? Blogger has become home for some of the most disgusting creepy people in the universe. Some of them behave like deranged stalkers (yes I've had a few). Some of them invite you to see their site, where they surprise you with an elaborate virus for your computer - a very deliberate attack. So fuck all the creepy people. My friends know where to find me.

I hope she finds a quiet spot somewhere. Fuck all the creepy people, they're blowing it for the rest of us. So, in honor of her departure, here's a great story of hers I was meaning to steal from sometime:

We pick up a lot of cars. 99% of the time, it's because someone is behind on their car payments. Once in a while, it's because nobody bothered to get insurance, or go down to the DMV to register it. Still, if you have to make a car payment, you know it. It's no big secret how much you owe.

We picked up one yesterday belonging to a dead guy. He quit making payments when he quit breathing. What does he care, he doesn't need the car wherever he's gone. His daughter had other thoughts. I had the joy of handling her phone call.

"You f------ people stole my car!"
"First, who are you, and second, quit using that kind of language."
"You f------ people will be sorry! You can't f------ do that to people!"
"That's it. Call back when you learn how to talk." And I hang up.

The phone immediately rings back. It's the drama queen again.

"B---- don't you f------ hang up on me."
"Slow learner? Try again when you learn some manners." And I hang up again.

It took a total of four calls for her to get the basic information she needed in order to get her belongings out of the car. She was only able to get the information after she calmed down, quit screaming curse words, and stopped threatening us. She even tried using the sympathy ploy of telling us her father just died, but we know it had been several months, and guess what, people in my office have dead relatives too. That doesn't give anyone the right to act a fool.

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